#PitchWars #PimpMyBio

Last year, I got hints of this Pitch Wars thing around the internet. Too intimidated by it, and feeling like it was something much scarier than it is, I didn't do much else but lurk by the twitter feed. I've since learned all about it and it's not scary or intimidating at all. If you were like me and you don't know what Pitch Wars is, I recommend you go here. Brenda Drake does a better job explaining it than I ever could. 

Part of Pitch Wars is #PimpMyBio, which you can read about here. Here's my bio. 

My name is April Rose, but not to be mistaken with April Rose the swimsuit model or April Rose the adult entertainment actress. My day job is less glamorous. I teach high school mathematics - my focus being Algebra II and Statistics - and I adjunct at a local college as a Statistics professor (actually, that last one I was just hired for, so I haven't done it yet, but I will and soon).

I homestead part-time, because, well, I love the earth. When I was a kid, growing up on a farm, I promised myself to get as far away from farming as I possibly could. By the time I graduated with my BA in Mathematics and English, I wanted to buy a sizable piece of land and farm as much as I could from it. Sizable turned out to be pretty small - only 2.222 acres - and right now I don't have any chickens or cows. Right now. (I want 3 chickens and 1 cow - so...enough to support my family on.) I grow nearly all my own vegetables, preserve/can an insane amount of food each year, buy my meat from local farms (and my in-laws who own a farm), bake all my own bread...

This is a panorama of the top of my kitchen cabinets. There's still more...

I am often mistaken as a snob. I am not a snob. I am narcissistic. I am well-educated. And I am INFERNALLY shy. (Seriously. I had to take the MBTI test in grad school, and I scored literally off the charts as introverted. I go to the bathroom at parties to hyperventilate and cry. Literally.) Put those together, I tend to give off an air of snobbery (unintended).

Well, I guess in some ways I'm a little snobby.

I'm a Snob #1: I have no problem spending $50 on a bottle of wine, especially if it's local and especially if it's good.
I'm not a Snob #1: I have never spent $50 on a pair of jeans. Actually, I've never spent more than $30 on a pair of jeans, and usually only spend $3-$18. I like to shop at consignment shops and Salvation Army (despite their politics, which I don't believe in).

I'm a Snob #2: I will avoid shopping at box stores and malls, if I can.
I'm not a Snob #2: I prefer local stores, including farmers' markets and small groceries. Why give all my money to big corporations when I can support my local economy? Plus, the people in the small stores know me.

I'm a Snob #3: I try to speak properly and I want my daughter to speak that way too. When she says, "good" instead of "well" when she should say "well," I correct her. There's no excuse to speak poorly.
I'm not a Snob #3: I will NEVER correct anyone over her misuse of grammar (unless I'm critting for her), and I welcome corrections to my own grammar.

I'm a Snob #4: I don't like dogs, and I secretly make fun of anyone who keeps a dog in her purse or has a "dog" smaller than, say, a labrador. I especially hate dogs that yip, jump, run from their owners, chase cars, or are otherwise ill-behaved.
I'm not a Snob #4: I love cats.  Cats don't drool, don't lick your face, don't yip, don't chase cars, don't...Okay, maybe that still makes me a snob. But really, cats are awesome! I have three.

I'm a Snob #5: I love to travel.
I'm not a Snob #5: I've only been outside the U.S. once and that was to go on tour with my college glee club (I used to sing alto in a religious choir, even though I am NOT religious). BUT when I travel, it's with a tent. I've camped across the U.S. twice in the last 7 years, the most recent being this summer. Hey, I had to share the love with my 3 yo.

I'm a Snob #6: Most of my sentences begin with, "I was listening to NPR and..."

And then there's the me that writes. It's my escape from...well everything - my depression, my Type A personality, the things I *can't* change with myself. It's how I control my life. I take criticism very well, and rejection equally well. Actually, I love personalized rejections. I can always find a spark of hope in them, and I'm always looking to improve, so what's not to love with that sort of rejection?