Making readers feel

So I had this epiphany.

It was too cold for me to work up the nerve to get our of bed to write, so I lay there, not thinking about my WIP, but thinking about a novel I'm reading for my work's book club. This isn't something I normally would have chosen for myself, but it was the first non-nonfiction book they'd chosen AND it was YA. As I lay there, analyzing it, I started to think about this one point where the main character is really just a jerk to the love interest. He doesn't intend to be--he's dealing with his own feelings about what's happening to his love--but he's being a jerk nonetheless, and he's really making me not like him.

I began thinking about why I felt so strongly against him. Here was a character that had been engineered for readers to like, and up until this point I had. Then I got it. It was because his girl needs him, and the more she needs him, the more he backs off. He can't deal with the stress--I get that--but that doesn't mean I need to like it.

Usually, when I read while I'm writing, I go through this phase of hating my own writing, a phase of insecurities so large that it backs my own manuscript into something black and deep. But then it hit me. I want my readers to think my main character is a jerk, too. I've always known this, and just yesterday I was speaking with someone about how I feel my WIP is falling short in this way. It's not as powerful as I want it to be.

So ready for the epiphany?

I could use this author's technique, tailor it to fit my novel, and make my readers feel the way I want them to. Why hadn't I thought of this before? There are a million excellent novels out there. Instead of letting them make me feel insecure, I should really focus on how they make me so invested in their characters.

I'm not talking about mimicking them or turning my novel into something tropey. The last thing I want is a pile of pages about mysterious boys and average girls. I'm talking about really discovering what these successful authors do to make their readers feel, analyzing it, and then looking for that thing in my novel, the thing that will make my readers feel, too.

On Seeds of Ideas and Outlines

This weekend, I was asked, "When you started writing LitD, did you do any prewriting or note taking or any system for organizing your ideas first? Or did you just jump write in and start writing? I only ask because...I started getting little seeds for a novel...trying to figure out a way to develop turning those seeds into a basic plot line is sort of tough right now. So I just wondered how you started out initially in the planning/writing process."

This is actually something I talked to the hubby about recently. Those of you who follow me on twitter and Facebook know I've been working on another novel, which I have tentatively titled WINTER ON BRIMSTONE HILL. It's a **very** fictionalized version of my life growing up on the farm. I was telling  my hubby that I'm having a harder time plotting it than I did LitD. His response was, "Well, LitD was inspired, right? This one is more...work." And it's true. LitD was the story I had to tell because it wouldn't leave me alone until I told it. I did minimal plotting. My characters introduced themselves to me and--it sounds cliche--they made everything in my novel happen.

That's not to say there wasn't any pre-writing. It took me a wicked long time to learn my MC Celia. Unlike the other characters, she had to spend much more time explaining herself. It look me somewhere between 3,000 to 5,000 words (which eventually all got cut) so I could get to get to know her. You know, this. I already wrote about it here.

The funny thing is I hadn't a plot in mind when I started writing LitD. I had a setting. I knew I wanted Celia in the Woods, but that was it. To me, the Woods would be where Celia came of age. So at first there was this big empty gap from the first fifteen pages until she got to the Woods. It wasn't until she spent some time in the Woods that I finally figured out a way for her to get there.

I tend to be organized. I like lists. Except, none of those propensities came out when I wrote LitD. I never once thought I'd be a "pantser" when it came to writing a book. Even by the time I got to the final chapters of LitD, I hadn't known exactly how it would end. When I wrote the last page, I was in disbelief. Could LitD possibly be over?

Now that I'm working on WINTER ON BRIMSTONE HILL, I'm finding that each time I attempt to plot, it gets lost, and the writing doesn't come as naturally. I've got about 20,000 words written, but right now their basic sketches of the characters instead of plot. My working outline has changed a lot since I originally started it. It's still very much taking shape.

WINTER was similar to what the person who asked me this question posed. It started with two sentences; I started to explore them. That's how I discovered Sarah (although, I might change her name). I took the two lines--"She rolled over to check if the milk was frozen. It was."--and played with the scene the two lines offered me. After I had about 3 pages typed, I changed it to first person and saw what happened. I liked it better. I had to alter some things, but it felt more genuine. Then I wrote some more, and as I kept writing, I kept slipping into first person present. So I went back and changed it to that. 

Each time I did this, I'd get this little nubbin of an idea of who Sarah is and what her world entails. I keep getting a better sense of plot. My current manuscript has all those pieces scattered between paragraphs and chapters and added to the end. Sometimes they're just lines that I've since elaborated upon, and sometimes they're tiny bits of plot. 

I wrote this way with LitD, but with LitD it felt more organized, less fragmented. I'm definitely not organized with WINTER, and it's certainly fragmented. I only have a couple scenes that have transitions into other scenes. I'm still learning about Sarah's life. I've got a good idea what I want to have happen to her, but I haven't made it "fit" yet.

I guess the whole thing I've learned so far is that I'm a pantser. I can't seem to stick to an outline; I prefer to let my characters decide what's going to happen. When I do that, the writing feels more natural. And hey, if it feels that way, it's gotta come across that way in my writing, right?

I've Come a Long Way

This post will likely bore you, but it's here for my own sake.  I make no secret of my hopes, doubts, fears, and excitement concerning LitD.  I spend countless hours each week on it, sometimes to the exclusion of all but my child and husband.  And every so often I start to feel like maybe, just maybe I'm wasting my time.  Then I feel a little better and I'm all let's-get-this-novel-published-yay again.  But between the depressive-and-you-think-you're-a-real-writer and the happy-jolly-sunshine-lollypops moments, I need to remind myself of how far LitD has come.

Well, here are the first six drafts of my opening.  (Note: I say I am only on the fifth draft of LitD, which is true, but there are little drafts within the big drafts.  If I had to count all the little drafts, I'm probably on the twentieth to two-hundredth draft.)  These drafts remind me that, yes, LitD has come a long way.  That, in itself, is worthwhile.  This is worthwhile.

Anything in bold is new, and anything striked out is, well, striked out from the previous version.

DRAFT #1

My name is Celia Mayflower, and I was an A student.   Not just any A student, but the A Student. I was what would have been called in the Older Days the class Valedictorian.  Not quite yet, as I hadn't graduated, but I was getting very close to graduation, and everyone--all my teachers, parents, leaders--all said that I was the A Student.  I wasn't an entirely creative student, but I don't think that really matters, at least not as a part of Town.  What matters is being able to be a working member of Society.

DRAFT #2

My name is Celia Anne Mayflower, Society Personal Identification Number KSGU4973764H.  I live at 49 Parakeet Circle, Town #7.  I attend School #37, off Subway Station #64.  I am seventeen years old.  I have nearly completed Education Course A as a mathematics major, and I am set to graduate this coming July on the same day I become eighteen years. 

I discovered that my Society PIN matches my personal information when I was about six years old.  When I was eleven, I wrote a computer program that would perform a search of all PINs and personal information in Town #7 to determine how many other people in Town had matching PINs and information in the same order as my own.  I then visited the Public Records Office—all of our Society PINs and other personal information being public knowledge—and used the program to collect the information I wanted.  Having done so, I can assure you that there is not another person in Town #7 in which all aspects of personal information and PIN match.  I became dissatisfied with this knowledge when I was about thirteen years old, so I headed off to the Public Records Office again, ran my computer program again (with some updated code, having found a small mistake I had previously overlooked).  Still finding that I was the only person in Town #7 to whom this occurred, I expanded my search to seven randomly selected Towns in my Providence. Again, I saw that this phenomenon occurred to only me.  Disturbed with the results, I then rewrote my program to check that any given fields would match in any order, and I expanded my search to include additional information, such as birthdates and precincts.  Here, I was able to find exactly two people for which this occurred.  Chagrinned, I calculated and discovered, to my everlasting annoyance, that the probability personal information would match with PIN is so low that what I had originally accounted to be pure chance is too low to actually be pure chance.  Of course, there are only two potential reasons that I can think of that would make this happen.  The first, is that when someone was creating my entry in the Registry, they determined for some unaccountable reason to make my information match.  The second, is that it is pure chance and I’m just crazily obsessed.  Actually, I don’t feel as if I’m “crazily obsessed,” but I can fully understand that the general population would believe me to be so; after all, only psychotic people are obsessed with numbers and probabilities and conspiracies and such, right?

DRAFT #3

I am finishing a short series of vampire love novels when Mother walks into my room.  Shortly after we determined I would survive my illness, we discontinued the quarantine that had prevented her from being in the same room with me.  When the researchers stopped wearing white body suits, we determined Mother was no longer at risk for death, so we too stopped worrying.

“What are you reading now?” Mother asks me.

DRAFT #4

My name is Celia Anne Mayflower, Society Personal Identification Number KSGU4973764H.  I live at 49 Parakeet Circle 7, Town 3.  I attend School 76, off Subway Station 4.  I am seventeen years old.  In July, on the same day I become eighteen years, I will complete Education Course A as a Mathematics Major.  I currently rank as the A Student for my class, an accomplishment of which I am extremely proud. 

When I was six years, I discovered my Society PIN matches my personal information.  When I was eleven years, I wrote a computer program to search all PINs and personal information in the database to determine the number of people whose information matches.  Having done so, I can assure you this phenomenon occurs only to me.  I calculated and discovered, to my everlasting annoyance, the probability that personal information matches PIN is so low that what I had originally accounted to be pure chance is too low to actually be pure chance.  Of course, There are only two potential reasons that would make this happen.  The first is that when someone was creating my entry in the Registry, they determined, for some unaccountable reason, to make my information match.  The second is that it is pure chance and I’m crazily obsessed.  Actually, I don’t feel as if I’m “crazily obsessed,” but I can fully understand that the general population would believe me to be so; after all, only psychotic people are obsessed with numbers and probabilities and conspiracies and such, right?

Anything worth learning is worth learning well.

I am finishing a short series of vampire love novels when Mother walks into my room.  Shortly after we determined I would survive my illness, we discontinued the quarantine that had prevented her from being in the same room with me.  When the researchers stopped wearing white body suits, we determined Mother was no longer at risk for death, so we too stopped worrying.

“What are you reading now?” Mother asks me.

DRAFT #5

My name is Celia Anne Mayflower, Society Personal Identification Number KSGU4973764H.  I live at 49 Circle 7, Town 3.  I attend School 76, off Subway Station 4.  I am seventeen years old.  In July, on the same day I become eighteen years, I will complete Education Course A as a Mathematics Major.  I currently rank as the A Student for my class. an accomplishment of which I am extremely proud.

When I was six years, I discovered the numbers in my Society PIN correspond with my personal information.  When I was eleven years, I wrote a computer program to search all PINs and personal information in the database to determine the number of people whose information also matches.  Having done so, I can assure you this phenomenon occurs only to me.  I calculated and discovered, to my everlasting annoyance, the probability that personal information matches Personal Identification Number is low.  In fact, it is so low that what I had originally accounted to be pure chance is too low to actually be pure chance.  There are only two potential reasons that would make this happen.  The first is that whoever created my Registry entry determined, for some unaccountable reason, to make my information match.  The second is that it is pure chance and I am crazily obsessed. 

Anything worth learning is worth learning well.

I am finishing a short series of vampire love novels when Mother walks into my room.   Shortly after we determined I would survive my illness, we discontinued the quarantine preventing her from being in the same room with me.  When the researchers stopped wearing white body suits, we determined Mother was no longer at risk for death, so we too stopped worrying.

“What are you reading now?” Mother asks me.

DRAFT #6

My name is Celia Anne Mayflower, Society Personal Identification Number KSGU4973764H. I live at 49 Circle 7, Town 3. I attend School 76, off Subway Station 4. I am seventeen years old. In July, on the same day I become eighteen years, I will complete Education Course A as a Mathematics Major. I currently rank as the A Student for my class.

When I was six years, I discovered the numbers in my Society PIN correspond with my personal information. When I was eleven years, I wrote a computer program to search all PINs and personal information in the database to determine the number of people whose information also matches. Having done so, I can assure you this phenomenon occurs only to me. I calculated and discovered, to my everlasting annoyance, the probability that personal information matches Personal Identification Number is low. In fact, it is so low that what I had originally accounted to be pure chance is too low to actually be pure chance. There are only two potential reasons that would make this happen. The first is that whoever created my Registry entry determined, for some unaccountable reason, to make my information match. The second is that it is pure chance and I am obsessed.

Anything worth learning is worth learning well.

I am finishing a short series of love novels when Mother walks into my room. Shortly after we determined I would survive my illness, we discontinued the quarantine preventing her from being in the same room with me. When the researchers stopped wearing white body suits, we determined Mother would not die.  We stopped worrying.

“What are you reading now?” Mother asks me.

#7 Critique Partner Series - Focusing Your Opening

I am in no way a professional.  I don't have a fancy education to back up writing (that is reserved for mathematics), but I do know what I like to read and I do know when I read something that doesn't quite jive for me.  So WELCOME to my CRITIQUE PARTNER SERIES!  It is minus the partner, because I don't actually know any of the writers whose work I am reading, but here I will offer my advice.  Much of my advice you can find everywhere else on the internet.  None of it is professional.  All of it is...I can't think of anything to finish this sentence with.  I liked the whole "Much of it, none of it, all of it" thing I had going on at the start of each sentence, but I'm far too lazy to spend time thinking how to end that sentence, especially when this is only a blog developed for my personal enjoyment.  Ready…set…go!


#7 Critique Partner Series – Focusing Your Opening

Book 1:  Chapter One of your novel opens with detective Miles Gumby finding the body of Brianna Kelley on the roadside.  Miles turns to see homeless man George Georgeson lurking nearby.  Miles speaks with George, but then goes home.  There, Miles speaks with Cindy, his loving wife of twenty years.  Who’s the main character?

If you think it’s Miles, you’re wrong.  Actually, it’s Cindy’s younger sister Mary who falls in love with Kyle.  And the novel is a romance, not a police procedural.

Book 2:  Chapter One of your brother’s novel opens with the Huns attacking.  They rape and pillage (not that I know if Huns rape and pillage, but that’s what they do in the novel).  A mysterious boy jumps from a window, knocks a Hun from his horse, and kills the Hun.  The other Huns run in fear.  Who’s the main character?

If you think it’s one of the Huns or the boy, you’re wrong.  Actually, Chapter Two fast-forwards twenty years when we discover the main character is a young woman who’s going to spend the next two hundred pages breeding horses and finding a husband.  In fact, that heroic boy doesn’t make another appearance for the rest of the novel.

What do both of these novels have in common?  Their opening doesn’t have focus. Yes, both openings may grab your attention, but when those openings have nothing/little to do with the overall plot, the reader begins to feel swindled.  Your reader won’t be able to tell who or what is important.

If your main character is Mary; I recommend starting with Mary.**  Let’s say Miles and Brianna and George and Cindy and Larry, Curly, and Moe are all main characters, though.  I’d hazard to guess you have too many main characters and need to pare it down to a few.  The reader wants to know whom she is supposed to care about.  If you don’t show the main character until later on, she’ll be able to figure it out eventually—your readers are smart—but she might not get that far.

If your brother starts with a battle and that battle is important, but he feels he needs to jump forward twenty years before he introduces us to the main character, I’m willing to guess there are pieces from the first chapter that can be added later in the story.  Tell him to try slashing the entire first chapter and start with chapters two or three.  Get rid of all that extra stuff.  That’s what I had to do when I wrote Celia.  Then insert little bits of what was important from the battle into chapters throughout the novel.

Let’s start with the real story!  Let’s start with the characters we’re supposed to care about!

**That’s not to say you have to introduce your main characters all in the first paragraph.  We don’t need alphabet soup either.

My question for you:

How much do you find yourself cutting from your opening?

#1 Critique Partner Series - On Characters

As I gear up for my writers' conference in the end of June, I'm doing a lot of reading "outside my box." I've recently had several people ask me what I read.  My standard response is, "Oh, you know, just about everything.  I'm not a huge fan of non-fiction, but I've read a few.  I mostly read YA now, but I'm a huge fan of Literature with a capital L."  Now, as I race to read and critique four novels in four weeks (one of which is nearly 500 pages long--yipes!), I've discovered how my answer of "Just about everything," doesn't quite fit the bill.  I guess I never realized how limited the range of genres I read actually is.

But this isn't the point of this whole post.  After spending three hours last night reading through 25 pages of another's work, I've decided that some of the many things I write on that writer's work would be nice to record here.

I am in no way a professional.  I don't have a fancy education to back up writing (that is reserved for mathematics), but I do know what I like to read and I do know when I read something that doesn't quite jive for me.  So WELCOME to my CRITIQUE PARTNER SERIES!  It is minus the partner, because I don't actually know any of the writers whose work I am reading, but here I will offer my advice.  Much of my advice you can find everywhere else on the internet.  None of it is professional.  All of it is...I can't think of anything to finish this sentence with.  I liked the whole "Much of it, none of it, all of it" thing I had going on at the start of each sentence, but I'm far too lazy to spend time thinking how to end that sentence, especially when this is only a blog developed for my personal enjoyment.  I digress!

#1 Critique Partner Series - On Characters

The manuscript I am currently critiquing comes with a list of characters.  There are 46 characters on that list.  About 14 of them are introduced in the first 25 pages.  6 of them are introduced in the first 2 pages.  None of them have English names.  Most of the names start with F, K, W, and T.

Perhaps it is because the first time I read my books, I prefer to devour them instead of savoring them, but I found having so many characters with so many similar and foreign names to be difficult to track.

Suggestion #1:  Don't name all your characters.  Not all of them are important, and if they aren't, don't give them names unless you have to.  Naming a character shows me, as a reader, he is important.  Sometimes characters aren't.  Sometimes they are.  Of course, there are times when several people interact in a scene and you need to give them names to keep them straight, but mostly, if they are present in the scene but not pivotal to it, they don't require names.  Think about how much time you personally spent (or spend) thinking up a name for your first child; that sort of dedication and timing should go into naming your characters.  Your characters are your children.  If they aren't your children, then they probably don't need names.  There is a reason the credits in movies say "Soldier #3."  I'm more likely to remember Soldier #3 (because he was a soldier and that identifies him) than "U'gruk the Minor."

Suggestion #2:  Narrow down your characters.  If you feel 20 of your characters are important, ask yourself, "Can each of the 20 stand on his own?  Or, should I combine some of them into one character?"  Yes, in real life we know hundreds of people, and yes, in real life there are probably 20 we interact with on a daily basis, but how many people in our life are truly important to us?  Such is the case when writing.  Yes, our main character (or characters) will interact with many people, but if you can combine your plethora those people into a few key characters, then it's easier to read.  I'm not saying you want your characters to have multiple-personality disorder--not at all--but you want your characters to be multi-dimentional.  Sometimes combining a few characters together achieves this without overwhelming your reader.

Suggestion #3:  Know your audience.  If your characters have foreign names, but those names are unusual to your readers, chances are your readers will become bogged down keeping the names straight.  I find this happens the most with fantasy and historical fiction.  We're set in some unusual country with names that are not Jane, Sally, and Rob.  They are U'rus (the healer), U'rai (the shaman), and Uhrik (the mother).  I can't keep those characters names straight, and your readers probably can't either.  Unless your audience will easily recognize the difference among the three names (because they are from that country), you might want to make it easier to distinguish among the names while still being true to your genre.

My question for you:
What are some other things you take into consideration when you create your characters?  When you read, what about characters sometimes bogs you down?